Mid-20’s, Mid-30’s, Reimagine Relational Safety
What happens when you find your person, and they are not who you had imagined? What do you do when they don’t fit your checklist of culture, religion, race, class, or gender, yet they still feel like the right fit for you in this moment? How many opposing voices and expectations do you find yourself sorting through? And how many of those voices belong to you?
Written by Hanna Barakat, ACSW 103744
How's Your Couple Hygiene?
Did you know that nearly 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the U.S. end up getting divorced? Many couples start their journey together with the best intentions but often lack the tools and knowledge to nurture their relationship over time. In fact, a survey by Nicole Weaver found that about 50 percent of those who have divorced later regret their decision, with many contemplating giving their relationship another chance.
Safety & Security Comes From a Strong Alliance
A strong alliance with your partner is the cornerstone of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Think about this: Do you feel you’re both on the same side? Is your partner the person you turn to when you’re afraid, hurt, or sad? If your answer is “no,” it may be time to explore what’s preventing that closeness. Many individuals and couples experience erosion in their alliances over time, leading them to feel more like adversaries than allies.
Time & Talk With Your Partner
Spending meaningful time with your partner is a cornerstone of a thriving relationship. The quality and quantity of this time are significant, but it’s essential to recognize that what works for one couple might not work for another. Your needs are uniquely yours—just as your partner’s needs are theirs. Embracing this individuality, rather than comparing your relationship to others, can foster deeper connection and understanding.
Practicing Mindfulness With Your Partner
Embracing responsibility for your thoughts, perceptions, emotions, and behaviors is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it’s a powerful tool that can enhance your relationships. By acknowledging that your perception might be off, you open the door to understanding your partner's true thoughts and feelings. This can prevent unnecessary conflicts. Moreover, this practice is a form of mindfulness, where you observe your thoughts and make a conscious choice to accept or discard them.
Stages of a Romantic Relationship
Psychologist Susan Campbell has shown how relationships go through five primary stages: the Romance Stage, the Power Struggle Stage, the Stability Stage, the Commitment Stage, and finally, the Bliss/Co-Creation Stage. These stages are based on relationships that begin with romance. As we know, however, people enter relationships for many reasons and in different ways. For example, you might enter a relationship because you feel unsafe or unstable and seek security. If that is the case, you will likely choose someone highly secure. However, you may not be physically attracted to this person, or the sex is just “okay.”