When It Comes to Finding Love, Throw Out the Checklist!

This blog post was written by Recovery Help Now’s, Cindy Nigro, MFTi.

Have you been trying to find love but can’t seem to find your “perfect” mate?  Have your friends tried to set you up, but you always find something wrong with the prospect?  Have you said no to a date based on the person’s height, hair color, or clothing?  Perhaps you think about meeting your celebrity crush and when this happens you will fall head over heals in love with each other!  Its fun to fantasize, and we all have characteristics that, ideally, we would want in a mate.  However, if finding love is important to you, than it’s also important to keep an open mind while dating.

The kind of shoes a man wears, what color hair a woman has, how tall someone is, etc. shouldn’t be deciding factors when choosing a mate.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you should date someone you aren’t attracted to, but there is a difference between forcing yourself to date a person and dating someone who doesn’t have all the things on your ideal checklist. Give a person a chance and look beneath the surface. Don’t be too quick to dismiss someone for something small.

Try getting to know your potential partner on a deeper level. Do you both have the same long-term goals for career and family?  Will this person treat you with kindness and make a dedicated parent?  Does this person treat his/her family and others with respect?  The fact of the matter is that we all have characteristics that aren’t ideal to everyone, and I am almost willing to bet that no one out there has every single little item on your checklist.

In the grand scheme of things, the superficial items won’t really matter.  I mean think about it… As you get older, things about you start to change. Chances are at some point your ideal person might stop possessing everything on your checklist anyway.  So the next time you meet someone take a step back for a moment. Stop looking for everything they don’t have and start focusing on the things that they do or could have. You never know what can happen!

Elana Clark-Faler
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