16 Sep Step 9: Making Amends

This blog post was written by Recovery Help Now’s, Cindy Weathers, MA, MFTi.

Step Nine is often thought of as a challenging step that people want to avoid.  Yet, moving through this step can provide another level of relief and spiritual growth that keeps you in recovery.  Making amends may seem like a bitter pill to swallow, but for those serious about recovery it can be good medicine for the spirit and soul.  The spiritual principle involved is that of forgiveness, not only from others, but forgiveness of self, which can bring healing to both parties.  The rewards of putting this principle into practice can be immense.

After completing Step 8 — made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all — the next logical step is to make those amends if possible, and the suggestion is to do so directly to those who have been harmed.  Those making the amends find many times that the person to whom they have harmed is more than willing to accept those amends happily — and a healing process begins not only in the relationship, but in each individual. This is not always the case, however, sometimes the injured party is not willing to forgive and forget. Regardless, spiritual progress for those in recovery depends upon doing their part right and making direct amends.

This step does carry a condition — except when to do so would injure them or others. If the act of making amends will open old wounds or create new harm, then making direct amends should be avoided. The benefit of making amends to the recovering person does not outweigh the need to do no more harm.

Make your amends and set yourself free. You are worth it!