Not So Fast: Think Twice Giving Up the Precious Jewels

Don’t be too quick to have sex with someone you’re dating.  Having sex too early in the dating process has proven to be ineffective in securing a relationship with many women I know and treat.  If you looking for a fling, then this isn’t the blog entry for you.  If you desire to have a long-term relationship at some point and are dating individuals with the hopes of locating Mr. Right, then take my advice.  Don’t give up the family jewels too fast.

Another no, no, is allowing dates to pick you up or come into your house too soon.  I have seen many clients who have been assaulted or got themselves into scary experiences with someone they only knew for a couple of weeks.  Remember, the majority of rapes occur by someone you know.

I look at someone coming into your home as someone entering your sanctuary.  This person has to be pretty special to see the insides of your sacred sanctuary.

So how soon is too soon?  I think this all depends.  My advice, I wouldn’t have sex with anyone before 3 months (minimum) of exclusively dating them.  For some of you this might feel like forever.  Some might see this as too soon.  6 months might be a better option for those who really want to know their partner.

I think 3 months of exclusively dating someone allows you some time to evaluate if you like this individual.  Do you want to give up the precious goods to this person?  Are they worthy to open the pearly gates?  You need to ask yourself these questions, before acting too impulsively.

Your body and your home are precious.  You are worthy for all good things, including a partner that see’s you as a precious soul.  This person is willing to wait 3 months, because he enjoys spending time with you.  Sex isn’t the most important need of the relationship, but a by-product of a close and intimate relationship.

I see too many women both in lesbian and heterosexual relationships move too fast.  I often hear, “It felt good.”  “I was in the mood and couldn’t stop myself.”

“Yeah, right.”  You can stop yourself.  It’s a choice.  I encourage you to think about your goal.  If you have a goal to enjoy the moment and not expect more than the moment, go for it.  If you want more, I encourage you to slow down and make sure he’s worthy to have some of the good stuff.  🙂

Elana Clark-Faler
1 Comment
  • elana
    Posted at 16:55h, 02 June Reply

    Tell me about your experience. When did you introduce sex when dating someone? What time was the magic time frame that worked best?

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