19 May Mothering Yourself: Be the Mother You Have Always Wanted

This blog post was written by Recovery Help Now’s, Elana Clark-Faler, LCSW, CSAT-S, CGP, Clinical Director.

What kind of mother did you have growing up?  Was your mother, or caregiver available?  Did you have a close or distant relationship with her growing up?  Did you know your mother?  How did she treat you?  Based off these answers…how did these issues effect your internal mothering today?

Your early experiences with your mother or major caregiver shapes the way you see yourself and others.  You might have difficulty being held or you may have an overwhelming need.  These reactions and feelings can be associated with needs that were never met.  Many individuals don’t know how to nurture the self, because one may have never received nurturing in their early development.

Mother’s Day occurred this month.  It’s interesting when these holidays come up (even Halmark Holidays)…feelings, memories and thoughts emerge.  You might find yourself thinking about old memories.  You might experience resentments.  These feelings can overpower you.

Let’s focus on change…Why not nurture yourself during this month?  You can utilize nurturing skills like affirmations, acts of gratitude, kind self-talk and etc.  You can tailor your internal dialogue to the internal mother that wants to see you succeed, do well, and believes in you.  In order to practice this skill, you have to utilize mindfulness.  You have to be mindful of what you’re saying to yourself in order to apply the nurturing mother dialogue.  The nurturing mother that observes is kind and says, “Don’t worry, you’ll get through this.”  She might say, “Ask for help, you’re not alone.”

Let’s try this skill together this month.  Let’s see what happens as a result.  Open?