24 Jun It’s the Little Things That Count!

This blog post was written by Recovery Help Now’s, Amy Margolis, Registered MSW.

A big complaint I hear in my practice is, “My husband is always working.  He never has time for me anymore.”  Then from my men I hear, “I don’t get it.  Nothing I do seems like enough.  I took her to Vegas two weeks ago.  I thought that would score me some points for a while.”

While grand gestures like a trip to Vegas or an extravagant dinner out are wonderful ways to make new memories and keep your relationship exciting, they are not sustaining.  Think of keeping your relationship in shape as you would keeping your body in shape.  If you wanted to be in great physical shape, you wouldn’t go to the gym once or twice a month for a heavy duty workout.  You would likely go four to six times a week for a more moderate work out.

What does this all mean?  It means think of your spouse every day in the little ways…  Leave her a love note before you go to work.  Text her, “I love you” in the middle of the day for no good reason.  When you head to the kitchen to get a drink, offer to get her something as well.  Hang that picture she gave up nagging you about months ago.  Make a few minutes to check in every day and ask her if she wants feedback or just wants to be listened to.

In essence, think of your relationship like a garden.  You would not weed and water your garden once a month.  You would tend to it each day with care. You could think of your little gestures of kindness like watering your garden and your daily chats as keeping the weeds out!