For Richer, For Poorer?

This blog post was written by Recovery Help Now’s Cindy Nigro, MFTi.

Do you and your partner argue about finances?  Do you ever fantasize that if your partner was wealthy and things would be so much easier?  It’s common to think like that, and don’t get me wrong, there’s no doubt money can make life easier and more enjoyable at times.  But as many problems money may solve, it can just as easily cause others.

So whenever you find yourself fantasizing about having a wealthy spouse (perhaps after arguing with your short-of-a-million honey), consider some of the potential challenges you could face.

Making decisions in a marriage is always a bit of a power struggle, but if your partner has 1,000 times more wealth than you, does he or she get 1,000 times more say in how money is used and how much you get to spend?  Also, if your spouse is a workaholic, they will be spending a lot of time on the job, which means you will have an absentee spouse.  If your partner inherited money, his or her family may have a lot of say in what you and your kids will be doing with the funds.  In addition, if you become financially dependent on your partner, at some point the relationship may end or your partner could lose his or her job.

Ultimately, all decisions and responsibilities in relationships should be shared – including financials.  Instead of fantasizing about how much better the relationship might be if your partner was wealthier, perhaps together you can come up with a more efficient budget or creative ways to make money together.  Also, supporting your partner’s career choice will strengthen your relationship instead of focusing on his or her paycheck.


Elana Clark-Faler
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