30 Apr Embracing Step Four

This blog post was written by Recovery Help Now’s, Cindy Weathers, MFTi.

While working the steps and going to therapy you will be in a process of recreating your life.   The Fourth Step is the first action step.   It is here that you know whether or not you really took Steps 1, 2 and 3.  Step Four is a fact-finding and fact-facing process.   The goal is to uncover the truth about yourself.   You will want to discover the attitudes, thoughts, beliefs, fears, actions, behaviors, and the behavior patterns – that have been causing problems.   By reflecting, you can make better decisions about your life, and more importantly, about those new explorations you are now free to make.

There is much more to life than being physically sober.   There is much more to sobriety than having the obsession for alcohol removed.   Sobriety isn’t easy – unless we can learn to be happy and sober.   To be happy and sober requires emotional sobriety.   The Fourth Step is our first action step towards physical and emotional sobriety.  You want to learn the exact nature of what causes you to do the unacceptable things you do – so that once they are removed – you can acquire and live with new attitudes, thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.

Step four should be done with the help of a sponsor of therapist.  You will be listing resentments on paper including people, institutions or principles with whom you are angry and exploring the root of the anger.  You will also look at your own mistakes and take inventory of the part you played.   This will prepare you to live a life of purpose – where you can be of service to others.  By taking inventory and learning the exact nature of your wrongs – you will be able to recognize when you might be slipping into your old way of life – and headed for new problems, and possibly relapse.