Dealing With Mutual Friends After a Break-Up

This blog post was written by Recovery Help Now’s, Vanessa Blaxland, MFTi.

Getting through a break up can be complex to say the least!  After you’ve decided to call it quits you are left with the overwhelming emotions of losing such a huge part of your life.  Not only are you dealing with your reactions and emotions of the breakup you are also left dealing with the job of untangling all the aspects of your life that connected you to your ex.  One of the biggest areas that keep you connected to your ex is usually mutual friends.  So how do you deal with mutual friends after a break up?  Here are some tips:

1. Be Tight Lipped:  Mostly likely you, your ex, and all friends involved are questioning how to handle the break-up and may be feeling a little anxious with the changes since there are no set rules about who gets what friends.  Your friends also probably want to be loyal to both of you.  So instead of putting your friends in an awkward position, resist talking about the break-up or talking trash on your ex.  Of course it is important to vent and talk to someone about the break-up.  Therefore, choose close friends and family to confide in and support you.

2. Keep In Touch:  You may be hesitant to call because you’re thinking “well I guess technically they’re his/her friends”.  But I’m guessing that up until the break-up some of these relationships were pretty important to you.  And you are probably pretty important to them, they just might not know how to approach you now.  So keep in touch with them and keep the conversation and focus on your relationship with them, not your relationship with your ex.

3. Stay Classy:  Even if other people are talking about the break-up or talking trash on you ex, take the high road and stay out of it.  Your friends might be trying to cheer you up, make you laugh, or prove that they are on your side, but joining in creates the risk of starting drama between friends.


Elana Clark-Faler
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