09 Jul Change & Coping With It by Elana Clark-Faler, LCSW, CSAT-S, CGP, CST

Change is inevitable. Change is happening all the time. Change can feel scary, overwhelming, and unexpected. We all react differently to change. Some individuals grew from chaotic family systems where change was happening all the time. Some individuals never learned effective tools to manage or work through change.

How do we rest in change, and not let our emotions inflate the situation? If we let emotions override the body, you may make decisions that are emotional, versus rational. So if change is inevitable, what are the tools we can use to cope?

Radical Acceptance
Roll with Resistance
Breath & Mindfulness
Identifying Emotions & Soothe Them
Affirmations
Challenging Negative Thoughts
Having Faith in Something Bigger Than Yourself

When you say “yes” to something. Get ready for change. If I want to let go of resentment, things I resent will surface, to give me the opportunity to let it go. If I say I’m ready for career growth. I might lose my current job. If I say I want to love more, then I will be presented with opportunities to love more. When you say, yes to something, get ready to face your yes. It may not present it’s self in the way you want it. You must manage the fear and anxiety. Hold tight for the miracle.

It’s important to avoid some types of coping skills that are ineffective (when it comes to change). These skills go against the practice of surrender.

The need to control
Lack of trust or faith
Getting caught up in appearances
Self-sabotage
Seeing the situation half empty versus half full
Having a lack of support

Things that help you manage change:

Trust in the process, no matter the appearance
Affirming who you really are
Get involved with activities that support meeting your goals
Have accountability from another
Fertilize the change with optimism, encouragement, positive self-talk and guidance
Surround yourself with support.