5 Tips to Finding Love

This blog post was written by Recovery Help Now’s, Vanessa Blaxland, MFTi.

Almost everyone wants to find love right? But after hearing some of my girlfriends dating horror stories, it makes me wonder how does anyone ever find love out there?  It would be so much easier if there was a dating manual with detailed instructions or a road map to love.  Even though the instructions or path to love are not always so obvious, there are some tips you can use to help see the opportunities of love all around you. Here are five tips to finding love:

– Make a list of qualities: Sit down and think about what qualities you want in your partner especially if you have a history of settling for less.  Maybe think about your past relationships and what qualities in that person didn’t work for you.  Now look at you list and see if it is reasonable or not.  Do you want someone who wants kids, likes the same things you do, or has a certain level of education? Ok, that’s pretty sensible.  Now if you’ve got a 100+ things or your partner has to look like Brad Pitt with a 6-figure income, that’s probably not reasonable.  Now you have this “List”. This “List” should be sensible, flexible and used as a guide, not something that is set in stone.

– Do what YOU love:  Think about what you love to do.  What are your hobbies or things you enjoy?  Do them!  Rather than coming up with places or do things you think would be good places to find love, just do what you already do.  What could be a better starting off point then to start a relationship by doing something you both enjoy?

– Have a dating plan:  Think about what you will and will not do on the first date, 3 months, 6 month.  This will help you from making impulsive decisions that maybe in the past have gotten you into relationship trouble.

– Get out there:  Unless you have a really cute neighbor you’re probably not going to find love sitting around at home.  So get out there!  Going out doesn’t have to be for the sole purpose of finding love, go out to do the things you already like or be with people you enjoy.  This way, you will naturally create opportunities to find that special someone.

– Don’t get stuck on a bad date:  So you had a bad date?  Unfortunately, it goes with the dating territory.  But experiencing the bad ones can make it easier to spot the good ones, and hopefully your bad date will turn into a funny story for you and your friends to reminisce on down the road.  Bad dates happen, so don’t take it personally, think of it as two puzzle pieces that just weren’t a good fit.



Elana Clark-Faler
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