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Navigating the Dating Scene for Young Successful Women

This blog post was written by Recovery Help Now’s, Vanessa Blaxland, MFTi.

It’s not hard to see that more than ever more women are obtaining more masters, doctorates, and high-ranking positions.  With more young women seeking higher education than their male counterparts according the U.S. Department of Education, they now face a vastly different dating scene than before.  This is something that is new to our culture.  Not only are more women obtaining higher education, they are also earning more with that education.   So where does this leave young, educated, and successful women when it comes to dating?

Well let’s think about our social norms that still penetrate our society today.  Men are expected to be the breadwinners and the head of the household, while women stay at home or work part-time to take care of the house and the children.  The young women we see today greatly challenge that norm, calling for untraditional dynamics in relationships and families.  It is not uncommon now for women to earn more than their partners.  However, our society still consciously or unconsciously holds onto traditional ideas of men as the top earners in the family.   This leaves young women stuck between two ideas, one that is proud of their accomplishments and wants a man who is also of the same mind that they don’t have to follow a traditional path, and on the other, they are nervous about their success and how it may repel finding a partner if their success is viewed as a threat.

Here’s three tips for all you young, educated, and successful women trying to balance your desire for a satisfying relationship and still be a able to be proud of your accomplishments.

1. Think of yourself as an explorer or a pioneer! You are in the middle of a social shift where relationship norms are changing right before you.  Understand that while the dating world may have its challenges for women like you now, you are setting a path for all the successful females that follow you.

2. Be clear with yourself about what you want in a partner.  Explore and answer those hard to think about questions about money, education, and success for yourself and what do they mean for a potential partner.  Figuring out how you feel about your finances and being comfortable with it will likely make your dates more comfortable about it too.

3. Being successful and making money takes time and energy, which can impact any relationship.  You work hard probably day and night to have what have.  But sometimes even if the financial gap between you and your partner isn’t an issue, the amount of time and energy or lack there of you have to devote to your relationship is.  I’m not saying you should compromise your career, but be mindful that relationships also need to be a priority and take time and energy to maintain them.

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