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Are Your Financial Problems Dampening Your Sex Life?

This blog post was written by Recovery Help Now’s, Vanessa Blaxland, MFTi.

Many couples come to therapy for problems related to their sex lives.  Usually it’s a lack of a satisfaction with the quality or quantity of sex in their relationship.  Now with the downturn of the economy I’ve noticed a new monster that is impacting both sexual and relationship satisfaction.  It’s no secret that financial problems have been on the rise for many couple since the economic downturn.

What do finances have to do with sex?  Well with the financial stress many couples have today, such as job loss, home loss, a tighter budget….it has made for difficult times for marriages and relationships.  Financial difficulties are one of the biggest areas of conflict for couples, making it hard to find the love and desire for intimacy that you may have once had.  So how do you get the spark back in your sex life during these hard times?

1. Stop fighting about your finances and TALK about them.  Continually fighting about finances keeps you stuck, but talking about them and agreeing to disagree while coming up with a plan that works for both of you will not only get you back on a positive path financial but sexually and intimately as well.

2. Being in a financial crisis can be very scary and anxiety provoking.  When you feel scared and anxious you may not want to be sexual or not be able to enjoy sex because of your pre-occupation with your financial stress.  Talk about your thoughts and feelings about your financial stress with your partner.  Validate your partner’s feelings.  Talking about your feelings over your financial stress with give your feelings less power over you and you will begin to be able to relax.

3. Just because your finances are screaming for your attention it doesn’t mean that you can put aside your relationships needs.  Just like finances, relationships need maintenance.  Yes times are hard and you may not be able to go to nice restaurants anymore or spend as much going out.  But you can still have date night.  Its important you still make time for each other and get out, even it’s as simple as a picnic or walk on the beach.

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