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Resentments

December 5th, 2011 / Coping Skills/ Couples/ Relationship Tips /

Resentments have never proven to be effective in my experience. You only hurt yourself when you hold a resentment. Resentments can cause physical pain to your organs and bring toxins to your body’s eco-system. What is resentment?

Resentment is a feeling you hold towards someone (conscious or unconscious) that is based in anger. Under that anger can be a vulnerable emotion, such as hurt, pain, sadness, etc. You avoid, versus addressing the hurt or pain.  over telling your true feelings over fear (perceived or real). Some worry what would happen if I tell the truth about how I really feel. Will this person leave? Make me wrong? Invalidate my feelings?

Sharing resentment is a demonstration of vulnerability, if shared in a respectful and loving way. The reality is the relationship may change or end. You take the risk. I think it depends on a number of factors if someone wants to end the relationship.

– How long have you know this person?
– Can the relationship withstand change?
– Your faith in something bigger than you. Often we don’t have faith. We live in fear.

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